Undressing Telenor Fashion Pakistan Week SS’15

Okay… so I’ve never really figured why all these fashion bloggers and random people sitting from the 3rd row onwards bombard the social media with sooo many crappy pictures when all they need to do is wait patiently for half an hour until a more skilled photographer uploads his snaps. Moving on… I know that you all don’t like reading too much… so I’m not going to make this write-up like the ones in which people use a set of adjectives to describe someone’s work and then use MS Word’s in-built thesaurus and replace them for another. I’m keeping this simple… more pictures spiced up with some flavor text – fashion memes. So for those of you who have been featured in this blasphemous ahem ahem… ‘review,’ I want you to know that the views expressed in this post are simply my own views, and that I am not at all sorry if you don’t have a sense of humor… and also that I have officially committed professional suicide! So without further ado, here’s presenting the good, the bad and the ridiculously ugly from Telenor Fashion Pakistan Week SS’15. Fashionable Garbage

Can our crappy politicians fit in there too?

Can our crappy politicians fit in there too?

There’s TFPW ka official hashtag, and then there’s TFPW ka official dust bin! Is she wearing crap… or are we supposed to take a crap inside what she’s wearing? Either ways, this… thing (not even going to call it a dress) was absolute shit – pun intended! tfpw2My heart bleeds when I see people doing injustice to fluorescent hues. WHY WHY WHY must you do this to beautiful colors that you cannot handle? Leave them alone I say.

Whiplash!

Whiplash!

Forgot to carry a copy of the book with them… so much BDSM – that’s, bondage, domination, submission, masochism and not blouse, daaman, sleeves, markan! Yea okay… I enjoyed Fifty Shades of Grey and am reading the book now, but please….. it’s about time we kept our secret bedroom fetishes to ourselves and did some real fashion. Lawls on lawn tfpw4Yes… it’s called running out of ideas! This is walking and not talking proof of the fact that we’re really going overboard with this whole lawn craze that I like to call lawnophilia. Lawn is best when it’s the regular three piece suit that it always used to be. But when it’s done up in a style that is apparently stuck between two different generations of fashion, it’s nothing more than lawl-worthy. By the way… is it just me, or do those have ‘daadi amma’ printed all over them? These Pants…..

The one in the center reminds me of Rick Owens from Paris earlier this year... just a bit off with the placement of the peephole!

The one in the center reminds me of Rick Owens from Paris earlier this year… just a bit off with the placement of the peephole!

I thought we were so over praa ji da phaatiya huya payamaa… urrr pants with peepholes. Veena’s Secrets

This song brings back so many wonderful memories from my college days.

This song brings back so many wonderful memories from my college days.

I’m still trying to figure this one out… was this Spring/Summer’15 or Nightie Basics? Costume designing gone horribly wrong tfpw7Options for the Joker in Bilal Lashari’s Lollywood version of Batman. tfpw8Sakshi Tanwar’s look in Game Of Thrones… urrr… Rani Mahal. tfpw14Something for the third installment of Sex and the City. tfpw9And here’s the Lollywood version of Brokeback Mountain set in Karachi’s very own Katti Paharhi a.k.a Katty Perry. Sufi Soap (opera)

TFPW meets NAPA

TFPW meets NAPA

Alright… so the next time I’m going to go for a walk… you know… just chillin, I’m going to be dressed like that… because it’s like so totally Ef-fen cool you knows! Sigh… its 2015; Bollywood has started to cut back on its song and dance, yet our fashion shows have still not given up on the love for unnecessary theatrics. Array bhai… itna drama hi dikhana tha… to Hum TV hi laga dete… so much precious time gone to waste! Haraam tfpw13Bird on jacket here… no fatwa? Or maybe they’re too busy having tea and biscuits with the Saudis. Pretty cool though – the bird of course! The Fahaashi Brigade

Remember Ramjaane anyone?

Remember Ramjaane anyone?

Star power that failed to power

For those of you who are completely ignorant to the glory of Indian Cinema, that's Alia Bhatt's elder sister, Pooja.

For those of you who are completely ignorant to the glory of Indian Cinema, that’s Alia Bhatt’s elder sister, Pooja.

Actually… I would’ve loved to see this Bollywood beauty live, but too bad… no passes 😦 but to be honest, she was the only highlight in the collection. Oh and… HAAAIIII Dips… I still remember you from my external jury back in my college days… oh wait… Dips is what I usually call Deepika Padukone… Bling it on… or not

tfpw11

Just noticed… the crotch looks ghastly…

I just couldn’t take my eyes off of those ornamented brows… and I mean that in a bad way. Something tells me she wasn’t too comfortable in them either… Fashion-food Poisoning

Color in the background close enough?

Color in the background close enough?

Oh dear… did someone just barf all over the ramp? We have an urgent care situation of toxic and terrible food poisoning here. #ThatMomentWhen tfpw17😮 … I saw this and was like… “I want to wear that!” A few interesting bits from here and there tfpw21 Super sexy just got re-defined tfpw15Okay… maybe the darts on that practically nude top are a tad bit disturbing, but that is one amazingly hot ensemble. And I almost thought those were her legs showing thought a sheer sari! This was in fact one of the better collections that were showcased during the four day extravaganza – a sober monochromatic palette with some hints of seduction, excellent detailing and lovely volume. Naked joy tfpw16Gorgeous… gorgeous…. and fucking gorgeous! This according to me was the second best collection; and I was so glad to have witnessed it live. Love the colors, love the sheerness and love the delicate detailing. So what if we’ve seen the frills before – in all its glory and excellence, a bit of a shortfall can be graciously overlooked, no? Spellbound tfpw18And then there are those who just leave you speechless… urrr… wordless, and remind you of your own insignificance… (takes a bow) And finally… tfpw22This one just completely took me by surprise and made my day… simply the bestest. I’m totally loving this trend of fashion-meets-social-messaging. And that’s a wrap. See’ya later!

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4 comments

  1. Makeup Entity · April 11, 2015

    Omg! Loved it! The humor was on point! The ‘dustbin’ and ‘fahaashi brigade’ was just epic! 😂 You now have a new follower!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Pingback: Say Hello To Shit-wale Dulhania Le Jayenge | arsalan writes…

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