Smelly… farty… constipated… and full of potty jokes – Piku has to be the best potty film ever… if that is a category of films even.
Piku is the story of… Piku Banerjee (Deepika Padukone), a Delhi based architect who lives with her father Bhaskor Banerjee (Amitabh Bachchan). Even though the movie is titled after the female protagonist, the movie primarily revolves around Bhaskor and his chronic potty problems.
Bhaskor is not only a aged, rude antisocial who does not even think before opening his mouth, but is also excessively hypochondriac – he’s one constipated prick with a really loud trap! In addition, both these traits of his have a profound impact on Piku’s personal and professional life which pretty much begins to stink as well.
The story takes a twirl when Bhaskor falls severely ill and realizes that he needs to go to Kolkata to sell a joint family property that he was initially reluctant to sell despite Piku’s insistence. Instead of opting for a convenient mode of transportation to make the journey easier given his medical condition, Bhaskor insists on traveling by road. The father and daughter end up going on the highway with the owner of Piku’s office conveyance provider Rana Chaudhary (Irfan Khan) as none of Rana’s cab drivers are willing to accompany the bossy Piku on a long drive across the country – the girl has serious issues of her own.
The journey however manifests itself as a number of revelations for Piku, Rana and Bhaskor together as they all learn a thing or two about life during their brief stay in Kolkata.
In the end – or better put – after Bhaskor finally takes the perfect poop, he dies and Piku returns to her shitty life with the addition of Rana. The Kolkata property remains unsold.
As film, Piku belongs to its three lead actors – Padukone, Bachchan and Khan; the three are of course tremendous performers and the screen loves them; Piku is just another feather in their caps. Shoojit Sircar’s direction, Juhi Chatunvedi’s writing and the Bengali thaska are top notch. The music is rather fart-like and forgettable though. But I guess that’s okay – the poop was more important than the songs in this one, no?
And I guess that’s about it!
Honestly speaking, writing good reviews isn’t really all that fun; there’s no point in it if there’s no poop to throw around on people. So having said that Piku was awesome, I’m just going to steer this in another direction to keep the words counting and the humor flowing. So here’s what you learn after watching a potty film.
Never talk potty on a date
Especially if you’re at a restaurant! Honestly… why would you even talk about what your food is going to end up looking like before even starting to eat it? Slightly green, squishy, soft with a little bit of puss, mango-pulp like – ewe… the last was just gross!
How to guarantee your old-age-help
If you’re worried that you won’t have anyone to help you through with your potty problems when you grow old, don’t get your children married. Sabotage their professional life by leaving potty queries at their work desk, and tell any potential spouse material about their un-virginity. There… problem solved; your kids won’t be going anywhere anytime soon!
Combine the English style with the Indian style for better results
Our rectum is shaped like a question mark – no shit, like we never knew that; and apparently applying more pressure to the belly makes potty pass out faster. Hence, if you balance yourself in a squatting position on the rim of a toilet seat, you will poop faster. Oh and don’t worry about arthritis or your foot slipping and getting stuck inside the seat – pooping is more important than pooping safely.
Americans are more constipated than Indians because…
The average American diet is full of junk. According to Dr. Arsalan, Americans are on a diet that is high on unhealthy saturated fats and low quality carbs, and considerably low on soluble dietary fiber. The lack of dietary fiber makes their poop hard and restricts proper bowel movements. As a result, Americans tend to take at least 3 days to pass out a piece of potty. Indians – and Pakistanis – need not to worry too much about their constipation issues as they are generally on a diet that is high on dietary fiber and they will eventually poop… before Americans.
Family pressure is the best pressure
When constipation becomes a chronic problem for people in their later ages, no medicine or diet plan will bring them relief. However, what will work is one of their family members – preferably an offspring – giving them a rude awakening and a sound doze on their selfishness. They need to be reminded about how their shameless rant about their children’s un-virginity has left their children alone and even more frustrated. A good five minute lecture will help them pass the most perfect potty they’ve ever passed out in their entire lives.
The ultimate goal of life…
Is to pass the perfect poop! You will die the very next day you do so. So in order to live, stay constipated, or let the diarrhea flow perpetually!
Piku is a stool of melodrama set in motion to tickle your funny bone and leave you slightly nauseated by the end. Eating and and drinking while watching is strictly discouraged.
4 out of 5 very perfectly smelling stars